In honour of the only game that has prompted me to (very shortly) buy a new system, solely based on its multiplayer, Mario Kart DS, I have compiled the best console multiplayer games list in history as I journey covertly through the Baltics.
This is not merely a "personal faves list". This is entirely based on my flawless objectivity, so it is correct.
Mario Kart 64 - N64The best game to make friends with. It may sound weird saying to a stranger in a park, "Want to come over to play Mario Kart?" but once you have three complete strangers sitting on your bed squinting at the 34cm TV in your room all shouting "Easy go!", "Yoshi!" or laughing like Wario as they pass, it makes sense.
Even the biggest, saddest loser in the world, who doesn"t understand the concept of changing underwear could make some friends with this game.
Just as long as they don't expect any meaningful, fulfilling conversation outside of screaming in someone's face at close range as you ram a green shell up their tail pipe.
Virtual On - Saturn/ArcadeIt may only be two players, but this is about spectators. When other people watch you play they think you are amazingly talented because everything moves so fast and is basically impossible to follow as a spectator. So not only is it fun, but other people think you are cool as your neural pathways interface with robotic challengers at the speed of static electricity. They will always think you're cool.
Well, as cool as some loser who plays videogames all day as opposed to having a life and getting a girlfriend and taking her to the beach can be. But still cool.
Perfect Dark / Goldeneye - N64Goldeneye = Proximity mines, library. Perfect Dark = Four players + Eight bots +/- Spontaneous nosebleeds. These are the games that cost Microsoft 375,000,000 dollars. Bill, I have a question, why do I need to pay six hundred bucks for a new Xbox 360 and Perfect Dark Zero, when I can go out and buy a used N64 for about $3.50 and Perfect Dark for $10? LOL ;-P
General Chaos - that's a play on words. Clever
Power Stone: "Fantastic!"
Crashing a car is one of the easiest and mostenjoyable things that videogames allow us to do,and the Burnout series simulates this wonderfully
General Chaos - Megadrive/GenesisI still for the life of me cannot understand why no-one has had a crack at a remake of this pearler. One screen, ten soldiers, so much fun. The title says it all really.
If you can't get hold of the cartridge apparently naughty people made emulators to play older games on the PC and Mac. But I have heard two players on one keyboard is still alright...
Micro Machines - All Systems since NESThis was the game that probably made Codemasters very rich, but when they put two players on one pad and controller ports in the cartridge enabling eight players (OMGWTF?!) they deserve all the cash they can get.
I would be very surprised if Codemasters don't win a Lifetime Achievement Award at next years Academy Awards based on Micro Machines being awesome seven years ago.
Soul Calibur - DreamCastThis is the best fighting game ever made. Ever. And it's easier to follow than Virtual On. And you won't need a girlfriend because you have Seung Mina to look at. Or Mitsurugi if you are a girl, or a boy who likes boys. In which case Mitsurugi is a good choice as he has long hair and is a Samurai.
Power Stone 1 & 2 - DreamCastI never played four player Smash Brothers. So instead Power Stone gets in. Four players jumping around smacking the crap out of each other in matches that take forever is brilliant.
It's funny too. Picking up a pole that holds up a roof and swatting everyone else is quite amusing. You can also try doing that in the game, nearly as amusing.
Capcom finally shows the world how crap Streetfighter is. The DreamCast didn't have many decent four player games. This is reason enough to go out and find a DC and four controllers for "Retro" fun. This should have come out on PS2.
Burnout - PS2, Xbox, GameCubeThis gets a mention because its one of the few games my sister and an ex-KGB girlfriend were both prepared to play. Admittedly that was the "Crash" bit. I guess that says a lot about women really. They're all sadists deep down.
But seriously, the Crash junctions are probably the best multiplayer turn-based game released this generation. And though the games are getting more complex they still keep the essense of arcade carnage alive.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - Megadrive/GenesisTwo players again. But if you need a game that can bond two people this is it. I believe this has the first co-op option in a console game ever. It's better than Halo co-op, too. Except when one player runs too fast and tails flies in.
What's also great about Sonic 2 is that if your pal gets sick of controlling Tails the game takes over the character. I'd like to see Halo do that. Also, the split screen race option is brilliant. They just needed a few more zones. If only they kept it for Sonic 3....
Quake 2 - N64A bit of a dark horse this one; originally I was sceptical this could better or even come close to the majesty of Rare's finest first person work. It does in multiplayer, though this is an altogether different beast. It's sort of more violent and funny.
I suppose it is a port of what was, at the time, the biggest thing in the multiplayer PC world. Except you get to sit next to the people you play against. And you don't speak to each other in text gibberish during bouts.
"OMGWTFTEH:<)SMCYDCTH3:-owndSTFU" and other nonsense like that. Because one can simply bat the controller out of the other's hands if unimpressed by seeing your character explode in globified pieces when someone rams a rocket into your retinal orifice.
Rogue Squadron: Rebel Strike - GameCubeIf it was possible to throw away part of a game it would be the single player part of this. It's barely worth thinking about. The co-op in Rebel Strike is Rogue Leader (which is the best Star Wars game ever made) except you and a mate, or that stranger from the park, get to do the levels together.
If I had any friends who were as good as me at Rogue Leader I would kidnap them and force them to help me get Platinum medals on all the levels. Hypothetically. I'd need friends. LOL. Seriously.
Honourable Mentions - VariousHonourable mentions have to go to Timesplitters 2 on multiple systems, which is just Perfect Dark, except not as good, but nearly. Bomberman is good, except boring after losing three matches in a row. Also NHL '93 for Megadrive/Genesis. I have never ripped a cartridge out as much as that particular one. I hate my brother.
Coolness Rating: 900%
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