Mortyr 2

It sank without a trace...

I have nothing against mediocre games. Even at their most average they can introduce a novel concept or an interesting character or maybe even retina-burning graphics.

Debut games are the same. Sometimes they're excellent; other times, not so much, but either way they normally show something that gives me hope for the future.

Mortyr was an average Nazi-shooter that played relatively well and made for a fun couple of hours, but in the end it was buggy and, when you came down to it, a Wolfenstein 3D clone with a little futuristic Quake action thrown in.

While there's nothing wrong with Wolfenstein 3D or Quake per se, nobody wanted to shell out eighty bucks for an updated clone that, thanks to little and in some places, no press, nobody had heard of.

As you would imagine, Mortyr sank without a trace everywhere except in certain parts of Europe (Britain, particularly, for some strange reason). This was sad but not unexpected. Four years later and European developer Mirage Interactive have a sequel to Mortyr and, unfortunately…it's bad. Worse, in fact, than the prequel that spawned it.

You are Sven Mortyr, British agent circa World War Two, and you have been sent into enemy territory to stop the Nazis from developing, as per usual, horrible Weapons of Mass Destruction. Add to that Sven's dear old Dad, scientist extraordinaire, has been kidnapped and forced to work for the Germans on said WMDs, and you've got yourself an FPS plot.

Of course, this being a shooter, that's where the writing ends and the shooting begins, effectively.

And this wouldn't be such a bad thing, if it weren't for the fact that Mortyr 2 is so average, buggy and such a resource-monster (for no apparent reason, I might add). Even mindless Nazi-killing can't save it.

WWII, Nazis and secret weapons of mass destruction. All that's missing is the gameplay

Let's start with the most obvious thing, the graphics. They're bog-standard. I expect this kind of thing from first year game-design students. Weapon models are poorly textured and animated, as are character models. Blocky, misshapen and drab being the keywords here.

In fact, you could apply the word 'drab' to the game as a whole, for there is no word more apt in describing just how average Mortyr 2's visuals are. Never has Poland looked so boring. The government should sue. Idiosyncratically, the foliage generation isn't too shoddy, and could probably measure up to some of Far Cry's quieter outdoor moments.

Then again, there are the weapons themselves, about as standard-issue as they come. A knife, a pistol, a couple of rifles, light, medium and then heavy machineguns, a rocket-launcher and grenades; not much in the way of variety here, folks.

On the other hand, you're facing an armed troop of permanently brain-box deficient (running into walls, oblivious to danger, the whole shtick) Nazis; you could probably overpower them with three-day-old kelp. Truly, the AI has all the consistency, smarts and courage of a soggy banana peel.

That's not all, though, folks. Audio. The people who did the voiceovers for this game deserve to have their vocal cords excised with rusty scalpels so that never again can they traumatise the video-gaming public like this.

Peculiarly, again, the ambient firearm and outdoor noises aren't too bad, and the music certainly has improved from the first game, although that wouldn't be hard, seeing as the first Mortyr had almost nothing in the way of music in the first place.

This is the kind of mediocrity that produces games like Marine Sharpshooter and World War 2 Sniper, from studios that don't actually have the talent, skill or possibly the budget to adequately produce what could otherwise be quite spiffy games.

And so we're left with these, poorly executed efforts from game houses you've never heard of that make excellent gifts for people you don't like and can also stand in for coffee coasters, frisbees and targets for your sexual frustration at a moment's notice.

Game: Mortyr 2
Players: 1-multi
Online: Yes
Developer: Mirage Interactive
Distributor: Red Ant

Rating: 45%